Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Ten Dozen Virgins All Need Humping

Mmm. Chocolate. I know which one i want.

A bit about the natural fondness for chocolate.
Some time ago I suggested that life's like brocolli (link) not a box of chocolates. That wasnt entirely true. Life is also like a box of chocolates. Yeah, Forest Gump did have a point. We all want the best things in life. Like sweet nice tasty chocolate. There's white chocolate, brown chocolate, black chocolate and all the colours in between. Like most other guys, I like chocolate and dislike jellies.
A minority of guys prefer jellies (like the yellow turkish delight pictured) over chocolate but that's their life choice and even though I feel disgusted I dont think we should discriminate against them like some people do (link).

Reality struck...

Fvck, there's competition.
The problem is, everybody else also wants the nicest, prettiest chocolates. Predictably, the prettiest pieces of chocolates are taken first. Leaving the not so desirable chocolate behind.

What I want
The nicest chocolate I could get. Problem was, I wasnt even at the table rushing for the chocolates! I was behind the camera taking the picture! Ergh... I've spent too much time on the computer blogging this. Im going to the gym. Gotta be fit to have a chance catching the nicer chocolates.


What's up with "Ten Dozen Virgins"?
The title is an acronym. Initialisms in anatomy make a really boring subject a little more palatable. Tibialis anterior/posterior, flexor Digitorum longus, Vein, tibial Artery, tibial Nerve, flexor Hallucis longus. (Stuff under the flexor reticulum of the ankle)

So what does the title have to do with this post?
It is an allusion to the "chocolate" mentioned in the post.

Ok, then do you like white chocolate, milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
No comment.

You're not really disgusted at guys who prefer jellies are you?
Yes I am. I mean, come on, it's unnatural and disgusting. I dont hate them though as their existence has made cartoons such as family guy and southpark way more funny as they tend to be the butt of jokes - no pun intended.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Transcending The Inner Bigot

Full Circle*

A Decade In A Nutshell

1997 was the year I had my first crush. The following ten years of my youth could be described as quiescent and tranquil by the outside observer... I was not outwardly rebellious. But beneath the calm surface of my life my mind was in turmoil.

1999 was the year I entered high school. Over the next few years, I would be nearly consumed by the raging fire of theological zeal. My future could have disappeared at any moment. I am thankful I managed to put out the flames before it consumed me. I was never able to wipe the soot off my blackened face in high school. Cold ash everywhere. I graduated with almost no knowledge about relationships. A painful lesson, painfully learnt.

2004 saw me as a college student. The road ahead was paved, but uphill. So I struggled to perform to fulfill my promise to myself and my family - that I would be successful in life. I came to be fond of a lady, and made every mistake in the book. The depression that followed nearly made me lose focus. I was already finding it difficult to make the grades required for a place in university. The depression had a very negative impact on my studies. Luckily, as quickly as it had began, it ended...with a white bloom. In the following two years my view on relationships started to mature.

2007 is the year I turned 21. Life in Melbourne has opened my eyes to the reality that is the world. I overcame my childish fears (link) and realized my weaknesses (link). Overcoming despair and sweeping away the remnants of the cold ash that darkened my heart gave me much insight - yet from 1997 it took me ten years to even realize simple truths such as those outlined in ladder theory (link). As much as I had reflected on issues surrounding me, I was looking at only the truths that I wanted to see. This is why 2007 is so special in the development of me as a person. It will be remembered as the year spent transcending the inner bigot. I am beginning to find my center. Spiritual issues have been resolved. I have financial security and I am in the country/university/course of my choosing. The veil has been lifted. I see now that the final frontier in my development as a person will need to revolve around interpersonal skills and kinesthetic knowledge - two things that I had consistently neglected for the past ten years. Things are looking bright. I've never felt better.

*Full Circle: A fire spinner, Jarrod from Richardson Hall shows off his skills. Minimal postprocessing. Long exposure. Some parts of the picture such as the dark outline of the fire spinner were digitally removed.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Ramadan Reflections

First and foremost, I'd like to wish all my Muslim friends Selamat Hari Raya!

The holy month of Ramadan comes to an end once again. For some reason to me that month to me has always been about contemplation and reflection. I have always been pampered and well protected by my parents until I left for residential college in 2005. In 2007, I came to Melbourne. Three very busy years in the ongoing evolution of me.

2005 - 確かに今灯がともる
"Surely now a light will light!"

"I'll put on chains in a fake dream. I want to say that "I am nothing". Throwing away the shirts that I got used to wearing. The strength of believing in things you can't see, and the weakness of disbelieving things you can see. Before the sun washes them away. When I wake up in the morning, I'll take a vow. I am myself, yes, I wonder what I'll do in order to keep that? My chest tightens in this night that I feel, the angry darkness in my heart.
Surely now a light will light!" -
Beautiful dreamer, by GLAY. (translated from japanese by megchan)

I had just gotten out of a relationship that had sucked the life out of drained me, and was on the rebound. White flowers were blooming. I started photography.

2006 - Paradigm β

From Picture Imperfect v1.0*:
> Paradigm β: Thoughts, mind, feelings, heart... evolved. Control or trust? Time flies fast. Dust to dust...feelings past.
> KMB** Nights: warm humid crickets sing fan spinning focused tired tense

The following Ramadhan saw the evolution of Paradigm β - a new way of looking at the world. Quite significantly, my view on relationships started to mature... "control or trust?". I was at a very busy period of the IB diploma course. Things were picking up. 2006 was the year I was awarded my International Baccalaureate diploma. Much of my mental focus and time went to study. Sowing the seeds of success...

*Picture Imperfect v1.0 (archived) was at blogmalaysia.com/ezralimm. It is no longer online.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Red. In Retrospect


I look,
glazed memories.

I shine a light,
I see.

psychiatric morbidity,

I've been in Melbourne for about eight months now. I am no longer the person i was before. Life's like a box of chocolates. Life's like broccoli. The pill of reality is bitter when you're green. But as time passes, you grow up and learn to eat it. It's good for ya.

My mind's eye had never had a sharper focus. I can now make out the reality that's obscured by the fog of preconception. Transcending the inner bigot, I see the light.

Real life is not the movies. Real life is not dictated by ideology. Real life does not necessarily favour the politically correct. Real life is dynamic. There can be no results without antecedents.

I looked to my past and saw it for what it was. It wasnt what I have been telling myself it was. I saw red - psychiatric morbidity. There were times when my entire future could have vanished. Im thankful it did not. I tried to cope by myself. I got through by much internal reflection and material distractions. I lacked behind in the development of interpersonal skills and kinesthetic knowledge - never realizing it.

I like broccoli now. I am getting healthier day by day.

What does the picture* have anything to do with the post? Well... by eating lots of broccoli I came to realize that I have to make myself more attractive to be attractive to an attractive lady. Sounds absurdly simple and common sense but I never realized it until I read up about ladder theory.

*no colour filters were applied. the place really was dark with red lighting. 158kb png. Couldnt use jpeg (~30kb) as i normally do with all the other pictures on this blog as it goes blurry. It is very high contrast. Viewing on a CRT or high contrast LCD is recommended.