Sunday, April 13, 2008

90km later.

as the trip ended

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. The last stand up comedy act at the Fox Hotel was supposed to start at 5pm. They didnt accept bookings so we turned up early at 4.30. The place was quiet. Apparently, the last show ended the friday before!

So we went sightseeing instead. It's autumn and it's slightly chilly. Talking against the wind, I answered an unexpected question...

Why do you think people want to be attached?

Well girls want the sense of security of knowing they are with someone... or ya know.. just to show off to the other girls. The guys just want to get laid.

(giggle) ya know, that's kinda true.

(we crossed the road)

You know, as you start to be on your own, independent from your family, you lose that sense of closeness you once had as a kid. You want that sense of intimacy...

I was surprised at my own reply. In that two minutes waiting at the traffic light to cross the road, i had reflected on something I've never given much thought about. Looking back, i realize that as a person matures, it becomes awkward to have a certain type of emotional intimacy with members of your family.

It feels great to be independent - but it comes at a price. It does get lonely sometimes. Friends distract you from the loneliness spawned by the void of emotional intimacy - but at the end of the day the void is still there...

John Mayer: Something's Missing

I'm not alone, I wish I was
Cause then I'd know I was down because
I couldn't find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now

I'm dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for the joy but i bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pain
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

When autumn comes
It doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there is fog inside the glass around
Your summer heart

I cant be sure that this state of mind
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test
for loneliness like this

Friends (Check)
Money (Check)
A well slept opposite sex (Check)
Guitar (Check) Microphone (Check)
Messages waiting on me when I come home...

Something's missing
And I dont know what it is
Something's missing,
And i dont know how to fix it

No I dont know what it is
Somethings different
And I dont know what it is
No I dont know what it is.

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