Update 2: The 11th Hour

11/11

The day of reckoning.

The Monash MBBS program no longer has mid-year assessments for Year 4. That effectively means EVERY SINGLE EXAM is bundled at the end of the year.

11/11, 12/11, 16/11, 18/11, and 19/11.

First two exams will cover Paediatrics, Obstetrics (childbirth) and Gynaecology (women's health), General Practice (GP land!), and Psychiatry. That is followed by two days of playing doctor....the observed structured clinical exams (OSCEs). To finish it off, the final paper is vertically integrated - a fancy way of saying there's 4 f**king years of medicine rolled up into one three hour paper.

The stupid thing is, I'm still on placement 5 days a week. My placement ends on 5/11(!!!).

Study is impossible. Too much to cover. I dont even know where to really start!

My facebook account is disabled until further notice. Robot Unicorn Attack was taking up too much of my time (the fb version is linked to weekly high scores between your friends!)

Back to work.

zxzx

Update: Psyched Out!

Just a quick little update for the five or so return visitors (who are you ppl??) who come back to check on this blog every day. No picture as I simply had no time.

So much has happened in the past two months I dont know where to begin. I have learnt so much about people; so much about myself. Why are people the way they are? Different states of mood. One's perception of self...of reality. I think I finally know why my weight dropped to 45kg after coming to melbourne. The more I learn about psychiatry the more I started to recognize the rut that I was in merely two years ago.

Delving into psychiatry, I cannot help but observe people. How the past affects the present. The antics of those who desire attention. The antics of the withdrawn. Undisclosed desires, and how people hide them. Behaviour, actions and reactions all reflect their inner sense of wellbeing and whatever negative feelings or unresolved desires that plague their conscience. Response to attention differs markedly, and different people seek attention (consciously or subconsciously) using different methods; creating a true reflection of their inner self.

I have less than 10 weeks to prepare for the fourth year exams. Yet I have 8 more weeks of placement at the Alfred Hospital in the city. It means waking up at 6am every day and getting home around 6.30pm. The work was starting to overwhelm me. I was starting to panic. To lose sleep.

But as luck would have it, stars align and chemicals collide.

I found it.

Or did it find me?

A sense of tranquility.

Security.

That which my right hand possess.

Did I transgress?

No...I couldnt have.

So positive.

This cannot be wrong.

Trust.

Hope.

Warmth.

Best Eid ever.


Selamat Hari Raya!

Status Anxiety; Update; Pause

"If we were completely ignored by everyone we come across, it would be worse than being tortured"
- William James

"The reward we really want [in life] is attention"
- Alain de Botton

The next blog post will be a very significant one. It will relate strongly to one of the key themes of this blog. I plan to use it as a prelude to The Real Game of Love (currently under construction). It's all about attention and how everyone craves it whether they realize it or not. Summary below: